It is not until we, as temporary residents of this world, traveling through life experiencing a trial or trials where we need rescuing, and in need of immediate relief. That is where we find ourselves desperate and in search of some kind of measure with a source that will give us a space to breathe. Sooner or later, we realize the only source is and has been waiting for us… His name is Jesus. When we are in a face down position of desperation, at the end of our rope, clinging for dear life, drowning in grief, our cries for help become real to us. It’s a wake-up call to reality that life and death are real. That the world is really temporary. It’s not forever, but heaven is. It’s when we face the reality of life as it is. Our cries reach out to the ears of our lifeguard-Jesus. He is the only One who walks on water. The real source who makes Himself available any time, any day, anywhere and any way. Jesus is our measure to life in desperate times. He knows. He sees. He understands. He waits. He loves. He cares. He guides. He is with us. For scripture says in Psalms 23:4 NLT), ” Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me. Your rod and staff protect and comfort me.”
The day my mom passed, I found myself walking through the darkest valley. I knew the Lord was already grieving with me. He was about to carry me through a grief that was unknown to me. A loss that broke me into pieces of granules and left me completely numb and in shock, filled with pain. As we were guided by the ER doctor that sad day, who walked us into the hospital emergency consultation family room, a small and enclosed room with two chairs and a table, he informed us the devastating news that was about to change our lives forever. This room felt exactly how I felt within. It was pale, gloomy and a cold room indeed. Parts of me felt dead. Hospitals are known for cold temperatures, but some reason this room felt extremely cold that day. I felt the incoming sadness which entered that particular room. Somehow I already anticipated what I was about to hear was not good news at all. Anticipating for the bad news due the the faces that walked into my life that day, but still continuing to cling on to hope that my mom was alive and made it through this terrible experience. The ER doctor had a look of despair on his face which stared right into the window of my eyes, and sadly informed us that my mom didn’t make it. It was in this room that I felt how life was so unfair. I hated death and all its evilness. It was that moment that changed my life forever. It was where I felt nothing but numbness that sent strings of pain radiating through my limbs, where my heart felt like it stopped as well with my mom’s. Her passing tore me apart, it tore away through the insides of my very being and asking myself what just happened in disbelief. She was just here.. Is this a bad dream because I don’t like it at all. I wanted time to travel back when my mom was still alive. I wanted to scream. It felt as if a part of me died with her. I was lost. But this I knew that Jesus is close to the broken-hearted. He will not let you stay where you are at. Crushed, broken and in despaired. Jesus is with us in the silence, in the noise of this world, the chaos, the loneliness of times, but also in the good times where it calls for celebration, to celebrate life. This season of loss for me was a time to grieve life and death as it was that day. Jesus didn’t promise us a free from pain, and free from suffering type of world. He did promise us that He would never leave us where we are at. In your desperate times, seek the only measure. The One that holds our heads high above the raging waters, because even the waves obey His voice. He is the only source of life and breath, strength and comfort. He has been my lifeline so, seek the shepherd for He walks with us in the darkest valleys, never leaving our side.
Jesus is Life 